One crawler will win this exquisite gilded bust of Carl’s foot.

Yes, it’s real.

Yes, it’s gilded.

Yes, I spent an unreasonable number of hours designing, printing, gilding, and polishing something this stupid.

Yes, it makes me as uncomfortable as it makes you.

How to Enter

Every order placed between March 1, 2026 at 5:00 PM MT and March 15, 2026 at 11:59 PM MT is automatically entered to win.

The Fine Print

No purchase is necessary to enter or win. Free entry instructions, eligibility details, and full terms are available here

Winner will be selected at random and contacted by email within five days of the giveaway ending.